A mother goes through different phases in her life. From being an independent working professional, she leaves her job suddenly and is home bound for first two months when she gives birth to a baby. Those two months are quite tough. She goes through hormonal changes, emotional upheaval and taking care of a baby for the first time. However much she has determined to begin the job after the job, she is in two minds as to how to leave the baby and go. While some mothers do not have any other option, others change their mind and decide to be at home with the kid and concentrate on upbringing. After two-three years, she decides to begin schooling for the kid and focus on her career again. But what’s this? Industry is not that welcoming as it seemed to be. After trying for six months to a year, she decides to become a pre-school teacher or resume studies. Some even opt for trying their hands on entrepreneurship.
This is not my story as I have been writing all through the trying times. But I have come across many such new-age mothers who are not able to live their dream of balancing work and family together. What to do when your kid leaves for school? What to do when your kid grows up and leaves for studies to a different city or a country? Here are some ideas that will help you cope up with the situation and how to add value to your personality.
Your Hobbies Should Never Take a Pause
I have seen many a times that ladies forget their hobbies or simply stop them, when they find that they are pregnant. Yes, you are pregnant, that’s a great thing. But it does not mean that you should stop being yourself. Keep yourselves occupied by indulging in a hobby. So, when at a later stage, nothing seems to work, your hobby would keep you company. Even when the baby arrives, take some time out for your hobby. When the baby grows up and leaves for school, you can turn your hobby into a profession or team it up with some other work as well.
Try to Earn Something, Even If the Amount is Minimal
Yes, your husband is quite supportive and has been earning well. However, you need to stay independent and that will make you a confident woman. Confidence is quite important for mothers as they are role models for their kids. Search for work-from-home or go out and work to earn something. This will motivate you and even contribute to your personality. You can be a teacher, you can make something at home and sell, or you can be a consultant or a full-time working professional. Do not be available for your kid 24×7. Let your kid know that you have a life beyond home and family as well.
Learn A New thing, Skill Or A Course
Now that you are free, you can learn something new. Find out something that you always wanted to do. Or try out something new. Overcome your fears and drive on a new road. You can learn swimming, driving, singing, playing instruments, dance, pottery, drawing or anything and everything. Be a kid again and try your hands on things that you were not able to do as a kid. You would love this and your family would also gain something out of your new learnt skills.
Make New Friends, Start Fresh Conversations
By this, I do not mean that go on a hunting spree for new friends and leave the ones that you already have. I mean to say that you need to open up to strangers and talk to them. Connect with other mothers and learn how they spend their time. Visit places that you were not able to with your kids. Keep a tab on the exhibitions, trade shows and events that are happening in your locality and city. Even if it means travelling a lot, do that. Take public transport for long routes. It helps you ponder, contemplate and observe people and places better.
Prepare An Event Calendar
You might think that there is no use of event calendar as you do not have much to do. However, the moment you make a calendar, you would be tempted to fill that up. You would scout for opportunities that can sizzle up your calendar. If your kids are younger, make space for some play dates for them. If your kids are teenagers, schedule some family meetings where your kids could meet the extended family.
Plan Get-Together With Groups
You might have a friend from school, a friend who stays in the same apartment as you, a friend from your kid’s school and so on and so forth. Invite different friends over to your place. Even if it is just two of you, plan something interesting. For instance, you can keep a theme wherein both of you wear similar clothes and prepare similar dishes for potluck. Play fun games and involve your kids too if they are willing to.
Watch Interesting Content
With the influx of Netflix, Amazon Prime and YouTube, lots of interesting content is available to watch. Start watching a web-series that matches your interest or watch short movies that have been appreciated around the globe. To make it different and slightly tough, try to watch movies in other languages without subtitles. This way, you can understand the emotions and appreciate cinematography as well.
Work Out to Stay Fit
Irrespective what your scale says, no matter whether you are thin or fat, it is necessary that you work out to stay fit and healthy. Working out not only keeps you physically fit but keeps you mentally alert as well. Those who work out regularly do not suffer from depression, anxiety or blues frequently. Find out a workout buddy and get going, girl.
Work Out Your Mind As Well
You might not be aware that your mind too requires exercise. For these, you need to play mind games. Learn to solve Sudoku, kakuro, Hittori, crossword, brain puzzles, etc. Mind Games are very helpful to keep you alert and sharp. People who play mind games do not suffer from memory issues as well. If you are not aware of mind games, get a basic book for beginners from a book store near you. It is better that you play such games in a book or newspaper, basically offline, rather than online.
Go On Trips Alone Or With Friends
Yes, trips are a fun thing to do. When you explore places other than your city, you learn about different cultures, nature and environment. Above all, you learn about surviving in different settings. Ask your friends to accompany you, find out groups on Facebook that plan such trips, plan something out with your family or just take a solo trip. When you plan to take a solo trip, keep your safety in mind.
Start Reading A Book
Whether or not you are a voracious reader, you can always start reading a book. Books transport you to a different world altogether. Depending upon the book, you will learn about something – be it emotions, skills, survival or the inspiration to live your life to the fullest. Choose your books carefully. You can check the Google reviews and ratings before beginning a book.
Begin A Club Or An Initiative
Depending upon your hobby, you can start a reading club, storytelling club, sports club or anything that seems good to you. It doesn’t matter how many members your club has. What matters is that you meet regularly and make your initiative a success. If you want to do something for the society, begin a charitable initiative wherein you teach deprived kids, take senior citizens to a picnic or something like that. You can even do something for the environment – a green initiative wherein you ask people to ban the use of poly bags.
Above All This
No matter whatever be your day like, every day you need to:
- Laugh a lot
- Eat good food
- Stretch and Exercise
- Read the newspaper
- Meet a friend
- Compliment a stranger
- Compliment your own self
There are no set formula to live life well. When you find others doing something good, instead of being jealous or feeling insecurity, ask them if you can join them. Just because you are a mother now, it does not mean that you do not have a life of your own. Keep yourselves busy. Live your life to the fullest. Learn how to balance motherhood, family and your interests. Happiness to you!